Compartments

A conversation about my recent post has made me ponder the reasons and effects of compartmentalizing.  I often find myself wondering what would happen if more  people were more honest about their feelings, thoughts, and problems.  I wonder if “How you doing?” Is a rhetorical or actual question.  Unless I distinctly feel I’m being dismissed, I usually answer honestly, if not elaborately.  “Oy, vey…lemme’ tell ya ’bout it”, then summarize.  How many do this?  Do those who don’t feel compelled to, or hold back for fear of judgement.  Nobody wants to be a Debbie Downer or negative Nancy.  But, I feel that a succinctly sincere answer is generally in order.  I try to keep it in perspective, focusing on solutions , or asking for advice.  This is how the human connection is made.

It drives me crazy when people do nothing but complain, & even crazier when they act like their life, relationship, children, etc., are perfect.  It closes us of to other people and their ideas.  Those who go to great lengths to convince others how perfect their life is are usually the ones with the worst problems, and the most likely to crumble when things go wrong.  Why?  Seems to me that hiding one’s problems greatly diminishes  options for solutions. If everyone believes your life is perfect, you don’t need, favors or advice.  Next time a friend asks how you’re doing, answer honestly and see what happens!

While my blog addresses challenges, I attempt to emphasize the theme of hope.  That is why I always tag posts with “inspiration” (when I remember to tag them).

Please comment & share your thoughts and experiences.:)

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One thought on “Compartments

  1. Oh dear! I was talking with my father today (or rather, he was telling me) about how I come from a family of complainers, and I seem to complain all the time. I shall try to do better and hopefully, not drive you crazy!

    Now, I always had trouble with small talk. It took me forever (even up to a few years ago) to realize that many people say “How’s it going?” or something similar to mean simply “Hello”. This was most true of acquaintances; close friends would want to know the literal answer to the question. For those that simply meant “hello” or more specifically, “I see and acknowledge you”, I tried to keep my answers more snappy, like “It’s going” or “fair to partly cloudy”, or something witty because I do NOT say “fine” unless I think I really am fine.

    Now, speaking of compartmentalization more broadly, I did learn that I needed to be more open and authentically honest about my feelings. I’ve had problems with post-traumatic stress and I’ve had to learn to acknowledge my feelings this way, without re-living the traumatic experiences that might be tied to them.

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