Blue pill or red pill

I often compare ASD to The Matrix. Autism is like being forced to take the red pill–seeing the reality behind the matrix.  My husband and I have had several conversations about this. He always says he would take the red pill. I’m a bit less decisive. He was brought up in a household where it was expected for people to voice their opinions loudly and immediately.  I was taught to fall in line, conform, be meek.  I never did fit in the box. They tried to stuff me in the box. I tried to stuff myself into the box. It just never happened.

When I read about the debate of “cure” vs. accept, I feel so torn.  Nurture has taught me to want to fit in.  Nature has posed the question of why I should care what anyone thinks.  Would I be happier if I could just turn it off?  Would I be more successful if I had come up in an environment that encouraged different ways of thinking or being?  Is it too late to become more happy or successful?  I just don’t know.



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